Essential Shift

I hate having long gaps between posts, it drives me crazy. I know everyone says it’s quality over quantity, but I want both! I know I’m not the perfect blogger and most likely I never will be, but I can dream can’t I? I write all the time about the bloggers I look up to, in fact I probably write about them all too much. I write about them because I want to be like them, but I know I can’t. I guess that I am trying to convince myself not to be so concerned about this blog and just keep writing because I love to. I submitted my site to 9 rules… again, I shouldn’t have, and honestly I should forget about that, if I keep focusing on that I will forget about the reason I blog. Yes I want to be accepted but I never will be if I keep forcing out posts just to look good. So in attempt to make myself look like a better blogger I have made myself worse. I am not happy with the recent content here, I feel it seems forced. I want to change, but I don’t know how. I mean not all my posts were forced, but I know I could have spent a lot more time on most of them. As I read through my blog I think to myself, “who in their right mind would read this crap?” I mean, obviously someone does, I can see them on my mint page, but I know there is not a lot of repeat visitors either. See, here’s the dilemma I am facing, I don’t want to make it look like I working too hard to please everyone, but I want to work harder to make my blog more enjoyable. What am I to do? I really need to reevaluate this, what do I want out of TCRA? I want to have a place to write out my thoughts, and I want a place to be heard. I want to interact with others and have discussion. I want to cause people to think, and learn from others. I want to have fun. How can I do this better? Do I have what it takes to have a successful blog? I don’t know, I want to have what it takes, and I will try to have what it takes. I guess for the time being I will put my dream of being part of 9 rules on hold. I will focus on TCRA, and being happy with it.

You know as I look back through this post I feel like I have written it a million times before, and I have. You are probably getting sick of me aren’t you? I promise I will not make any more posts like this… ever.